Premature Ejaculation – Causes & Treatment

Anka Grzywacz - Sexologist And Certified Sex Coach

How soon is too soon?

Understanding why premature ejaculation is happening is key to finding the right solution. Modern PE solutions act on-demand and do not disturb intimacy between you and your partner. Learn about the pros and cons of premature ejaculation solutions and the ground-breaking innovations. 

What Is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature ejaculation (PE) is the expulsion of semen (commonly described as "coming") which happens sooner than a man or his partner would have wished.  

It’s the most common male sexual concern. One in four men suffer from PE at some point in their lives. For some it starts as early as the first time they have intercourse. Others develop it later.  

All men will have situations when they come too soon. If it happens occasionally, it’s nothing to worry about. But if you climax immediately after intercourse begins most of the time, you might have PE.  

Causes of Premature Ejaculation 

Like many sexual problems, PE can have physical or psychological causes. For some men it will be a combination of body and mind issues. Understanding why you have these difficulties is the first step to finding a solution that works for you and your partner.   

Physical Causes of PE 

You may think that ejaculation happens only in the genitals, but it’s the brain and the nervous system that control the process. If one piece of the puzzle doesn’t work right, you may find it difficult to prolong intercourse.  Physical causes of PE include hypersensitivity of the glans (penis head), hyperactivity of pelvic floor muscles, hormonal and chemical imbalances and prostate inflammation. Getting those health issues under control may help eliminate or reduce premature ejaculation.  

Psychological Causes of PE 

Remember your early sexual experiences? You were so excited and ready to explore everything erotic. As a result, you (or your partner) came fast, way too fast. Some young men can ejaculate at the mere sight of a naked person they like! But psychological PE is not just a concern for teenagers. Adult men may also find it hard to control their ejaculation. Psychological causes of PE include: 

Performance anxiety. This is a common reason behind PE. You want so badly to satisfy her/him that your body starts playing tricks on you. Or something didn't work out the last time you made love and now you're worried and come too soon … again. 

Depression. Experts are still trying to understand why men with depression are at a bigger risk of premature ejaculation. This psychological disorder impacts men’s confidence, body image, and energy levels. It can also have a negative impact on the relationship. It’s like a vicious circle. One problem feeds on another and PE is one of the side-effects. 

Relationship problems. Even without mental health concerns your relationship can end up in a crisis. Unresolved conflicts and disappointments push couples apart. Lack of intimacy and good communication can cause repeated stress during sex and may show up as PE for some men.  

How Long Should You Last in Bed? 

The definition of PE is a bit tricky. While some couples will be satisfied with two minutes of penetration, an average couple will find intercourse of 3-7 minutes “adequate.” This result is closest to reality, as another study showed. When measured with a stopwatch, intercourse lasts on average 5.4 minutes from penetration to ejaculation.  

What’s physically possible will not always be aligned with individual preferences. Some men (and their partners) may need between 7 and 13 minutes of intercourse to get a sense of sexual fulfilment.  

If you compare your stamina to that of porn stars, you’ll be in for a disappointment. Adult films are not real life! According to sex therapists three to seven minutes is “adequate length” of heterosexual intercourse. Seven to thirteen is regarded as “desired time”. Real intercourse doesn’t last for hours! 

Don’t forget that good sex doesn’t stop at penetration. Get creative and have fun with your hands, tongue, and sex toys.  

How To Treat Premature Ejaculation? 

If you suspect a sexual problem, don’t sit there, hoping it will pass. Take your health in your own hands. If you can, talk to a doctor and check for medical reasons of premature ejaculation. You may need to consult a sex therapist or psychologist as well.  

There are many ways to prolong intercourse, from home remedies to modern, wearable patches you can use on demand. Here are the most popular methods recommended by experts:  

Premature Ejaculation Home Remedies 

People have been trying to find out how to cure premature ejaculation for centuries. Some old-school methods have proven to be quite effective. 

The two most popular methods of prolonging intercourse are “squeeze” and “start-stop" techniques. In both scenarios you must recognize the point of no return and act before it’s too late to stop the climax.  

The squeeze technique. To do it right, you should recognize the point of no return – that feeling of getting close to orgasm. In that moment you should squeeze your penis between the head and the shaft to reduce sensations and the urge to ejaculate.  

Start-stop. This method takes a lot of willpower. When you’re close to climax, stop whatever you’re doing, breathe deep and wait for the excitement to pass a bit. Then you can start again.  

Both methods are seemingly easy, but they take time, effort, and your partner’s collaboration to work. Also, they can interrupt sexual play and your partner may find it hard to climax if you’re stopping when things are getting hot.  

While there are no sex toys designed as a treatment for PE, some men use penis rings to delay ejaculation. Those rings help you maintain a strong erection but for some men they also numb the penis. The ring should not be work for longer than 20 minutes at a time, as it may cause damage to your penis.  

Over the Counter PE Treatments 

If home remedies aren’t enough, there are numbing products you can buy without prescription in a pharmacy, drugstore, or sex shop. You can get them as creams, gels, wipes, or sprays. Some brands offer "climax control" condoms, lubricated with desensitizing substances. You apply the product directly on the penis.  

These products delay orgasm and ejaculation by reducing sexual sensation. How would your partner feel, knowing that you are completely numb in your most intimate moment together? In addition, since desensitizing products applied on the skin; without a condom the product can be transferred to your partner’s body and reduce her or his pleasure.  

Premature Ejaculation Treatment with Medication 

If home remedies and prescription-free treatments fail, some men ask a doctor for help. Your healthcare provider can prescribe pills to delay ejaculation. If you suffer from another health condition and are already taking prescription medication, this option may not be right for you. Here are some of the available treatments for PE: 

Antidepressants for PE 

Many doctors prescribe antidepressants to men with PE. But why would someone take pills against depression if they didn't suffer from it? It turns out that some tricyclic antidepressants and SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) have various side effects, one of which may be to delay  ejaculation. 

But antidepressants are not a magical premature ejaculation cure. You must take them regularly and risk other side effects that are not that much fun. What use is it to last longer in bed if all you can feel is nausea, headaches, and dizziness? What’s more, some depression treatments can decrease your sex drive. This means you may improve your sexual functioning but lose your libido along the way.  

Antidepressants are a good choice for men who are already battling depression. Taking them will have a double effect – restoring mental balance and managing PE.  

Painkillers for PE 

Strong opioid pain medication is sometimes used off-label to manage premature ejaculation. It is, in fact, misuse of medication. One can take such medication approximately three to five hours before planned intercourse, and it may delay ejaculation.  

The biggest issue with these drugs is that they can be addictive. Plus, they can cause unpleasant side effects, such as headaches, sleep problems, and even seizures. To make things worse, the medication can cause erectile dysfunction and the loss of libido. The price of managing premature ejaculation seems to be quite high with these drugs.  

Erectile Dysfunction Medication 

Some doctors prescribe ED medication, such as Sildenafil, to men with premature ejaculation. But does it really work? Those pills may help you feel more confident in the bedroom, but they will not delay ejaculation.   

This method should only be considered for men who already have erectile dysfunction. It's not effective enough to be a standalone treatment for PE. 

Psychological Treatment for PE 

If you suspect your problems with ejaculation have more to do with your thoughts and emotions than with health, psychotherapy or sex counselling may help. He or she can teach you to deal with sexual performance anxiety. You’ll learn how to be more aware of your body, how to manage stress and anxiety, and how to relax. 

For some men premature ejaculation is linked to feelings of shame, low self-esteem, or poor body image. With therapy you can process those feelings and become more relaxed as a lover. Sometimes it’s useful to go into couples’ therapy and learn how to talk about intimate problems with your partner.  

A psychological approach has many advantages, but it usually takes a long time to get results. On top of that, sexual therapy is rarely covered by health insurance, so the cost can be significant.  

Skin Device for PE With Immediate Effect 

Most treatments for premature ejaculation overcomplicate things. Not everyone needs to take pills every day or numb their genitals with creams to last longer in bed. The in2 device is a clinically proven, CE-marked, wearable device designed to give men with PE more control of their ejaculation.   

in2 uses proven, safe technology of Electric Muscle Stimulation (EMS) to give your pelvic floor muscles a boost and prolong intercourse. These muscles are the same ones that you use to stop the flow of urine.  

The great thing about in2 is that it hardly has any side effects and doesn’t cause genital desensitization to you or to your partner. And you can apply it even a few hours before intercourse. Your partner may not even notice it’s there but will feel the difference! Click here to learn more.